NFL Picks Week 7

My first ever NFL picks post. These lines are based on the Thursday morning lines, so they still could change. 

TENNESSEE TITANS (-8) @ KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

I'm taking the Titans in this one. I don't think anyone expected the Titans to 5-0 at this point, especially after Vince Young got all emotional and reportedly "suicidal." I wonder if the fact that Vince got a '6' on the Wonderlic test had anything to do with that. In an old ESPN article on the Wonderlic test, the founder of the company said that a score of '10' was literacy...6? I know we have been down this road before, but 6? Anyway, Kerry Collins got a 30, which compares to a chemist according to the Wonderlic people. I am confident Kerry Collins can figure out that KC has the second worst defense in the AFC. A chemist could figure that out right?

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (PICK EM') @ BUFFALO BILLS

I was thoroughly impressed with the Chargers last week. (Random Thought: The Patriots mystique is clearly over, which means that even when Brady comes back next year, the mental edge that the Pats had over everyone is significantly diminished.) I am gonna go with the Chargers based on that performance last week, and the fact that the AFC West is so bad right now that the Chargers know they can take the division with a couple good weeks. The Bills have been a huge surprise in the AFC, and I think they have a real shot at winning the AFC East, but even at home I don't think they get it done. I think San Diego gave themselves enough of a confidence boost last week to carry over to this week. It should be noted that I have Antonio Gates and Vincent Jackson on my fantasy team, so my mind may be subconsciously making picks that would help my fantasy team...thanks mind, you're always looking out for me. 

PITTSBURGH STEELERS (-9.5) @ CINCINNATI BENGALS

How much time do I really have to dedicate to this space to explain how bad the Bengals are? Because the game is in Cincy, and this is a rivalry type game, I'm tempted to say the Bengals keep it close...but no, I can't do it. Pittsburgh is the pick. How's that for economical space saving?

BALTIMORE RAVENS (+3) @ MIAMI DOLPHINS

A battle of one-sided teams. The Ravens defense has been spectacular this season, with the notable exception being last week's 31-3 drubbing by the Colts and the Peyton Manning of old. The Dolphins lost a heart-breaker to the Texans last week 29-28. Who has more to prove? Who has more pride? I fully expect this to be the most entertaining game of the weekend, especially for diehard football enthusiasts. How is Baltimore going to combat Miami's wildcat formations? Is the Ronnie Brown show going to continue this week? This game interests me immensely. I'm going to take Baltimore because I think Ray Lewis will have the troops ready to go. 

DALLAS COWBOYS (-7) @ ST. LOUIS RAMS

Looks like Tony Romo is gonna give it a whirl, but as this is the NFL, that could change at any moment. I don't particularly think it matters who lines up under center for the Cowboys, they are significantly better and more talented than the Rams. The Rams got their first win of the season last week against the Redskins, but I don't see them being much of a threat to anyone the rest of the season. The Rams offense is ranked dead last in the NFC and the defense is giving up more yards than any team not named the Lions...I smell trouble. Dallas wins/covers handily, TO is a monster, Marion Barber is a monster, and all is well in the Cowboy South. 

MINNESOTA VIKINGS (+3) @ CHICAGO BEARS

No idea what to expect from either of these teams. The Vikings should be much better than they are, and so should the Bears. Both teams are 3-3 and continuously defy logic with their sporadic play week-to-week. Adrian Peterson set the rushing record against the Bears last year, and don't think for one second that everyone on that defense remembers it. These teams are very similar, they both have 'eh' quarterbacks and receivers and solid defenses. In fact, they are so much alike I'm just going to flip a coin to decide who to pick. If it's heads I'm taking the Bears and if it's tails I'm gonna go with Chicago. Here we go..............(coin is flipping through the air).......TAILS! Chicago is the pick for this week, boy was that intense, hope I never encounter indecision like that again. 

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (+3) @ CAROLINA PANTHERS

I'm pretty surprised that the Panthers are favored in this one. Maybe because Reggie Bush is questionable? New Orleans has a prolific offense led by the not quite midseason league MVP Drew Brees, and they have won two of their last three. Carolina has won two of three also, but got blitzed (I hate using 'blitzed' in a football post, but I wanted to write this explanation so I am going to keep it in, one time only) last week by Tampa Bay. Carolina has found the defense of old, old being two years ago, but they have only been a franchise for twelve years-ish, so a two year window is roughly 16.6% of their existence!! I am going with the Panthers, I convinced myself that the offense of the Saints will not be up to the challenge against the Carolina defense. 

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (+10.5) @ NEW YORK GIANTS

The Giants were awful on Monday night. Eli was bad, the defense was bad, everything just looked bad. That being said the Giants still have the #1 offense in the NFL right now, statistically speaking. The Niners have been scoring a lot of points, but they have also been giving up a lot, so logic suggests the Giants score a lot and Niners score a lot, and the Giants finish with a higher number of points than the Niners. Works for me, Giants cover ad win by 13. 

DETROIT LIONS (+8.5) @ HOUSTON TEXANS

The Lions are unwatchable. I am at the point where unless I have a fantasy player going AGAINST the Lions, I cannot bare the pain of their football infidelities. At least this new GM has some savvy, getting four picks, two on the first day for Roy Williams was a steal. I hope he does more more dealing. Another thing, ENOUGH JON KITNA, WE GET IT, YOU FEEL CHEATED, YOU LOVE GOD, BLAH BLAH BLAH. Going on and on about how the Lions are trying to make him look selfish, no one is trying to make you look selfish, you just said that if they wanted to go in a different direction that they should have traded you in the offseason, well the Lions didn't know that you were gonna be so bad! You want out when you start to suck more than usual, THAT'S BEING SELFISH!! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

To recap, I like Houston this week. (I would love to go on about Orlovsky scrambling out of the endzone, but no need to beat a dead Lion).

NEW YORK JETS (-3) @ OAKLAND RAIDERS

I like the Raiders in this one. Something about this game feels fishy to me, the Raiders have looked pretty lifeless all season and last week was certainly no different, but something doesn't feel right. Favre has been great all season, the Jets are competing in the AFC East and they look like a real threat. I know it goes against all forms of logic and sensibility, but I'm sticking with the Raiders. 

CLEVELAND BROWNS (+7) @ WASHINGTON REDSKINS

The Redskins getting a touchdown on the Browns? Maybe I'm a fool for taking so much head in momentum, but Cleveland was terrific on Monday night, and the Redskins lost to the Rams...I suppose this is make or break time, sink or swim, live or die, come or go, any other cliche I'm missing? I think something clicked with the Browns and they will go on a run, maybe not to the playoffs, but another mildly successful year. The Redskins are going to keep pace in the "toughest division in football" (fee fi fo fum, we are the NFC East!) But honestly I like all the other three teams in the division better. I'll take the Browns.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (-1) @ GREEN BAY PACKERS

This should be another great game to watch. If you have directv (RT: that always bothers me by the way, doesn't everyone say DIRECT TV, but really it's DIREC TV, I know they are combining the two words to be cool or whatever, but it really bugs me) you can watch the Ravens/Dolphins game I touted earlier, and than tune in to this one. You can thank me later. While we are talking about games on TV, are there 1000 other things you would rather do than watch Seattle/Tampa Bay in the Sunday night game? I cannot wait until whatever week it is that the games are chosen, what a smart move by the NFL. They finally did something right! So Colts Packers, back on track, this will be great to watch, both of these teams always play focused and intense every week. These are NFL teams, teams you would be happy to pay to watch. Unlike a certain team in the Motor City...I should have never started talking about the Lions, now it's all I can think about. FOCUS, FOCUS Big fella.....there, that's better. The Packers have lost three of four, but could have just as easily won three of four as they had a couple close games (Atlanta, Tampa Bay). I generally side with the home team in games like this, but the Colts looked great against the #1 rated Ravens defense last week, I think they build on that momentum. Colts win. 

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (+10.5) @ TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS 

I really don't know much about either of these teams. Seattle is disappointing, Tampa Bay is overachieving. Perfect. That was easy. I pick Tampa to win 13-2. If that actually happens, send your lottery number requests to Andrew Joynt, Genius Enterprises, Denver, CO 80203.

DENVER BRONCOS (+3) @ NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

Another wishy washy type game. The Broncos have been awful on defense, giving up 393 yards per game, worst in the AFC, but they have been super on offense putting up 399 yards per game, best in the AFC. So where do we go with this team? Being in Denver I get a lot of Bronco coverage, and I admit, I am becoming a bit of fan. Brandon Marshall is the future of the NFL, say what you want about Reggie Bush and Calvin Johnson, Shawn Merriman, and other young NFL talents...Brandon Marshall has the potential to the best wide receiver in the NFL for the next ten years. It helps that Jay Cutler trusts him to a fault, and will throw it to him regardless of down, distance, coverage, situation, etc. But this guy is special, if you haven't seen him play, take special time out to watch him on Monday night. All that being said, I hear the Patriots are practicing day and night after last week's debacle against San Diego. Coach Hoody has them ready to play (Can you imagine if Ray Lewis was on the Pats? Belichick and Lewis would have Pats players selling their souls for wins!) and the Patriots win.

Wow, that wasn't so bad. Please feel free to email me: joynt@colorado.edu and comment on the posts. I will not be held responsible if you bet your life savings on my picks because they were presented in such a eloquent and humorous fashion...they are just words my friends.